MD: South Africa

"With so many years left and so much remaining to do, I want to keep repenting, learning, changing, and growing by God’s grace, rather than getting comfortable and settling into a life and ministry that cease to press forward. My goal is Christ, not comfort or convenience."

Mark Driscoll

Baseball 2k10

It's that time again! Spring training is upon us, and in honor of the Longoria-glorified MLB 2k10 dropping March 2, the urge to make my yearly arbitrary baseball predictions strikes again.

2010

AL

East: NY Yankees

Central: Minnesota Twins

West: Seattle Mariners

Wildcard: Tampa Bay Rays

PLAYOFFS

New York over Minnesota in 4

Tampa Bay over Seattle in 3

Tampa Bay over New York in 5

---

NL (which I will admit, I don't really know that well)

East: Philadelphia Phillies

Central: St. Louis Cardinals

West: Colorado Rockies

Wildcard: Florida Marlins

PLAYOFFS

Philadelphia over Colorado in 5

St. Louis over Florida in 4

Philadelphia over St. Louis in 5

---

WORLD SERIES

TAMPA BAY over Philadelphia in 6

OK, so maybe i'm reliving 2008 a little bit, but the Rays stand a great chance this year.

(return of Crawford, Longoria, Pena, Upton, and newfound Zobrist -- a maturing bullpen of Sheilds, Garza, Price, and potential ROY from 2009 Niemann - and with the addition of Wade Davis and the solid closer Rafael Soriano -- potentially unstoppable)

I would also keep an eye on Boston and Atlanta.

James 1:1

"James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, to the twelve tribes scattered among the nations: Greetings"

Servant - in the greek it means bondservant, more or less meaning slave. Do I consider myself a slave for Christ? I try to Love the Lord by keeping his commandments, but even in that I fail. If I'm a slave - there should be no question what the right decision is when sinful opportunities arise. I like that the greek translates BONDservant. It reckons the connection as being inseparable. Which is true - I have been bought with a high price, and now that I have the Holy Spirit in me, and a regenerate heart, I could never escape from the Lord, no matter how much I try and run away. Like a father watching his kids, when I run too far away, he is always quick to snatch me up in his arms.

The perspective of James, and likewise Jude - who begins his book the same way - is very interesting. These two men were brothers of Jesus, they grew up along side of him. It makes sense that Christ's family call him crazy in the gospels - can you imagine your own brother or sister deserving your worship as king? but here, at the start of their books, they call themselves servants of Jesus Christ. Servants to their own brother.

Another interesting thought is that the tribes are scattered. “Scattered” here is the word “diaspora” which comes from two words: “dia” - through, and “speirein” - to sow. The word literally means “through sowing”, which makes what the ESV refers to as "the Dispersement", seem to be a reaction to Christ's command "bring the Gospel to the ends of the earth."

But the Jewish context of the tripes seems more related to Acts 11:19, when the Christian Jews were scattered from Jerusalem after the stoning of Stephen. There is a communicable idea that going out into the world is to sow the gospel as well. The reason for leaving aside, the actions are one.

Regardless of the strength of intentions by the word scattered, James is clearly writing to the saved abroad. Being the pastor of the church in Jerusalem, his letter is an encouragement to his brothers and sisters forced to leave the Holy land for their faith. As a christian in the world, I feel alien - due to sin, rebellion, clashing cultures - and i'm not always in my comfort zone in the world. Maybe my perspective is not so different.

He uses his letter to urge all Christians toward serious holiness and unconditional obedience to the word of God - which often times seem like the same idea to me. I often try to prove my holiness to God through obedience - but I've recently found that to be more a reaction to fear of God's judgement than of joy for what He has done for me. I'm looking forward to diving into holiness as a discipline, instead of seeing it as a reaction to what I do.

Hebrews 12:14 - Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.

Soccer: Spring 2010

Last semester, I suffered a back injury playing soccer. I took a tackle that ended with me landing on my back, not much unlike the one above - if Pogatetz's fall were the result of a shoulder to the chest. I quickly popped up, determined to walk it off, and continued to play soccer at least 3 times a week for the next month. But the pain in my back was lingering, and began to hurt more with time, so I eventually went to the chiropractor.

At the doctor, I learned the tackle actually separated my last vertebrae from my tail bone. The break is referred to as Spondylolisthesis:

The lines above are drawn with pencil by the doctor, and would normally be aligned, if not for the break. The result is abnormal pressure on a nerve tube running through my back that decreases my range of motion (i.e. i use to be able to touch my toes, now i physically can't get closer than 6" away), and adds a dull soreness. (think of it like when you go to the beach. when you first get to the ocean, you think "wow, the waves are so loud!" but after an hour, you don't even notice them anymore)

When i first learned of my injury, i had to take a break from the gym and soccer from about 3 months, and i got pretty depressed for about a month into the hiatus. Fears like "will i be able to wrestle with my kids one day" started running through my head. But i went through some rehabilitation, and i can generally do what i use to. I can play soccer now, although my skill level has dropped off, and i can swim, play touch-football, even go to the gym. I'm actually undergoing training to build up the muscles in my core to help my back. It may never heal, but it is treatable, and mentally i'm healthier than ever.

---

I say all of this for one important that only occurs in the Spring semester: Intramural Soccer!!! I had the joy of being able to play on a team with some of my best friends Will, David, and Tyler, and we genuinely had a lot of fun. We played in a division above our team's ability, but we had a great time. Unfortunately, last night was as far as we got in the playoffs, and the season has come to an end. The final score was 0-2, but we had around 8 shots on goal, 2 of which deflected off the goalie, and 4 off the post (not to mention Tyler totally destroyed a kid with a legal tackle). Both of their goals came at very lucky shots off of simple errors, which hurts even more. The points are what matters, sure, but we definitely played the better game.

All in all, I'm really appreciative for the friendships i've built with Will and Tyler this semester. Will is an accounting guy as well, and president of the BCM. He is a servant to Christ as a leader of college students, which i think is very admirable. Getting to participate in Beta Alpha Psi (the accounting honors society) events have been a blast (LASER TAG), and we play a lot of FIFA2010 together.

Tyler has also become a great brother in Christ. A friend of David's from back home, i first got to know him when he lived at our apartment for a little while when he moved back to Tallahassee. He was first here during his internship last semester, and he was also the one to invite me to Four Oaks, as well as the Fellowship Group we're a part of now. His fervor for the Lord has been really encouraging, and he's been a great friend to talk to, i feel like we have a lot in common. I'm really looking forward to going to the Four Oaks Men's Retreat with him this weekend. It all seems like the beginning of a really great friendship.

---

I'm looking forward to the rest of this semester. I am stronger than ever in my relationshipwith with the Lord. He's really provided with my school work thus far, and taken care of me with my finances - i recently was hired by the University as a tutor in the library! Next month is when i hear back from accounting firms and businesses on internships and other accounting conferences, so the tension is building. Luckily this semester has been a lot of fun.

A Decade of Music

Following the trend, and after much scouring of my iTunes,

I've put together a list of all my favorite albums from the last ten years.

1. bright eyes - i'm wide awake, its morning

2. sufjan stevens - come on feel the illinoise

3. bon iver - for emma, forever ago

4. jack's mannequin - everything in transit

5. death cab for cutie - transatlanticism

6. iron and wine - our endless numbered days

7. rocky votolato - makers

8. mewithoutyou - brother, sister

9. sweeney todd - revival cast

10. something corporate - north

11. coldplay - x&y

12. the rescues - crazy ever after

13. death cab for cutie - the photo album

14. john mayer - where the light is

15. radiohead - kid a

16. relient k - mmhmm

17. death cab for cutie - plans

18. keith urban - be here

19. the shins - chutes too narrow

20. the rocket summer - do you feel

21. jon mclaughlin - indiana

22. radiohead - in rainbows

23. john mayer - continuum

24. underoath - they're only chasing safety

25. coldplay - a rush of blood to the head

26. the postal service - give up

27. vampire weekend - self-titled

28. son lux - at war with walls and mazes

29. rachael yamagata - happenstance

30. neko case - middle cyclone

31. the album leaf - in a safe place

33. switchfoot - the beautiful letdown

33. beck - guero

34. kanye west - graduation

35. the fray - how to save a life

36. joshua radin - we were here

37. sigur ros - Hvarf/Heim

38. passion worship band - how great is our god

39. olafur arnalds - eulogy for evolution

40. michael buble - it's time

41. taking back sunday - tell all your friends

42. five for fighting - the battle for everything

43. jack johnson - in between dreams

44. sondre lerche - dan in real life

45. zero 7 - when it falls

46. maroon 5 - songs about jane

47. fun. - aim and ignite

48. brett dennen - so much more

49. wilco - yankee hotel foxtrot

50. coldplay - parachutes

Honorable Mentions:

josh ritter, ingrid michaelson, rilo kiley, girl talk, & the format

as well as other works by:

sigur ros, the shins, iron and wine, coldplay, beck,

taking back sunday, relient k, mewithoutyou, neko & soco

sanctification by grace

i believe in the sufficiency of grace.
whether or not i am living that out is always a challenge.

we find salvation by grace, but where i have fallen short is the sanctification of self that follows in response.

like salvation, sanctification can only come by grace.

i've spent much of my life believing in Christ, asking for his great help for my salvation, believing i am redeemed in his mercy, and then attempting to pull myself up by my bootstraps so that i might walk with the Lord, as if i could put together all my broken pieces on my own.

my logic here is that i want to be worthy of God's grace, although that is never something i could acheive on my own. yet because of my pride, i often try to make myself presentable before the Lord without his help in a way to prove my worth. but that in and of itself is contradictory to the sufficiency of grace.

i first sought Christ because i recognized i was powerless to save myself. that i needed help to deal with my deeply rooted sin. and in the beauty of his provision, i praise him that i am saved. but after that, i still operate under the assumption that my spiritual growth towards maturity still wholly depends on me.

but the truth is that i am no better at sanctifying myself as i am at saving myself. so if i am in Christ, if i am now truely "holy and blameless" as Ephesians 1:4 would indicate, why am i still trying to 'make myself holy' by depending on myself?

Tom L. Eisenman writes, "The beginning of holiness does not lie first in our determined effort to clean up our lives. The road to holiness always begins with submission to God as the prime mover in the sanctifying process. Our highest priority is our relationship with Christ."

to what avail then could i ever present myself worthy to the Lord? to whom am i trying to prove i've got it all together, and that i don't foremost need the Lord's help? since when did following the commandments of the Lord imply one must first be holy and righteous on their own before they can follow in the way of God? this has never been true. all are broken before they ever receive the Lord, and will continue to be. grace may not be an immediate fix to the sin-problem. but it is sufficient.

the truth is that as a christian, i am broken. 1 John 1:8 says, "if we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us." the christian life carries the expectation of lingering sin. like an injury you can't walk off.

but Eisenman notes: "the interesting thing about God's healing [is that] when he heals, he leaves the broken thing in place. Instead of fixing the broken thing, he brings his power through the Holy Spirit to overpower the brokenness..."

Romans 6:6 notes that with Christ our old self was crucified so that sin would be katargete, rendered powerless. it no longer has the power to control our lives. we gain new eyes to see it for what it is, and by the grace of God it has no control. Eisenman describes it in this way:

"God does not remove the boulders from the rapids of life; 

he raises the level of the water."

God is not the cleaning lady here to throw out all our junk, and clean house for us so that we are suddenly spotless and clean. no, God instead visits us and fills us, and by him the level of water raises, and all those boulders and those burdens have no affect on our lives anymore. they are rendered powerless to change us, and we are free to live our lives as his will originally intended.

as a christian, have i lived a life free from all my burdens? have i trusted everything to the Lord? the answer is no. in fact, often times following God becomes my burden! but the source of my anguish is not the Lord's commandments, rather the posture of my heart in following them. i wholly desire what 1 John 5 indicates for the christian life. that the commandments of the Lord would not be burdensome and that my life could rise above its boulders. but for that to be true, i need to return again to the sufficiency of grace. 

relevant to this discussion, C. S. Lewis compares a life of overcoming temptations to be like a child constantly falling down on a road traveling home. He writes,

"No amount of falls will really undo us if we keep on picking ourselves up each time. We shall of course be v. muddy and tattered children by the time we reach home. But the bathrooms are all ready, the towels put out, and the clean clothes in the airing cupboard. The only fatal thing is to lose one's temper and give up. It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us; it is the v. sign of his presence."

he first asserts that the more we fall, and as the journey seems long, and everything gets difficult, and we keep on falling, our largest temptations involve giving up. this is an example of what it is like to seek after the Lord. but if we cannot accept that both salvation and sanctification are products of grace, the journey on which we fall and have to pick ourselves back up will not lead to righteousness but frustration. to the guilt of not being able to achieve a self-setermined level of unreal perfection.

what i love in his analogy though, is that the very dirt we recognize to be covering us when we fall is the very proof that God is in us. our sensitivity to sin is a gift of God's spirit, and a sign of our salvation. without an inner struggle, we would truely still be lost.

my resolve: 

2 Peter 3:18 is a command. i need to return to the joy i've known to be found in submission to Jesus Christ. therein lies true freedom from my frustrations, and the ability to let the Lord deal with my brokenness without any walls, without having to do it all on my own. to let him raise the level of the water, that the waters may be peaceful and calm again. that is sanctification by grace. that is the will of God. who are any of us to stand in the way?

Christ died so that we might live. 

Christ died so that when i fall, i can pick myself up again. 

again i ask who are any of us to stand in the way of the Lord? when Peter challenged Jesus that he should not have to die in Matthew 16, Christ's reply was simple: "Get behind me satan." who are we to stand in the way of the Lord? who are any of us to deny God the rightful ability to share with us his grace.

The Lord is good. 

Eternity

From A Severe Mercy, by Sheldon Vanauken:

"Do fish complain of the sea for being wet? Or if they did, would that fact itself not strongly suggest that they had not always been, or wd. not always be, purely aquatic creatures?"

~ C. S. Lewis

Then, if we complain of time and take such joy in the seemingly timeless moment, what does that suggest?

It suggests that we have not always been or will not always be purely temporal creatures. It suggests that we were created for eternity. Not only are we hurried by time, we seem unable even to get use to it. We are always amazed at it - how fast it goes, how slowly it goes, how much of it is gone. Where, we cry, has the time gone? We aren't adapted to it, not at home in it. 

If that is so, it may appear as a proof, or at least a powerful suggestion, that eternity exists and is our home.